LIFE IS LITE

Maid: What do you want, sir?
Visitor: I want to see your master.
Maid: Whatís your business, please?
Visitor: There is a bill...
Maid: Ah! He left yesterday for his village...
Visitor: Which I have to pay him...
Maid: And he returned this morning.

Chemistry Teacher: ìCan you give me the formula for water?î
Student: ìH-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-.î
Chemistry Teacher: ìWhere did you get an idea like that?î
Student: ìYou told us the other day it was H to O.î

Bacteria: the back entrance to a cafeteria.
Buoyant: male equivalent of gallant.
Dogma: the mother of puppies.
Ultimate: the last person to marry.
Vice versa: dirty poems.